Friday, May 27, 2016

A Woman in her Thirties on the End of the School Year

There was a time I loved June. I loved wrapping up my creative writing units I always saved until the end of the school year (my favorite). I loved planning my book reading/lesson planning/leisure time for the summer. As a teacher, I don't think I ever really experienced a 'summer off'. But did loooooove that wonderful feeling of being 'done with the school year' in June.

Now, as a parent, I hate June. June is the worst. Actually, the end of May is the worst. That feeling you get when you realize you have two weeks left of school, you're looking at your summer calendar, and are terrified you have either over booked or under booked your children.  And you look at all the stuff you need to get done, and all the expectations on everyone, and how you'd just one time really love to have even a Sunday just to relax around the house...

Or is that just me?

This school year has been pure magic in many ways. Anna is finishing up at Golden Years, which is not a nursing home as the name implies, but is a little Montessori school walking distance from our house, where (when the weather cooperates), Aaron and I can walk to pick her up and play on the playground. She has loved her time there, has blossomed in every way, and we will definitely miss it.

And then there's Aaron, still at Creekside, who just last year at this time was still crapping his pants and only beginning to embark on his love affair with sharks. He too has loved his school year and matured in every possible way. I mean, look at him!

Now that I'm working again (a post for next time), I'm being much more careful with my time. Each moment seems even more fleeting than the last, every decision I make is first carefully weighed next to how much joy it's going to bring to me and my kids in the limited amount of 'this' time we have together. 

And that is overwhelming, especially in June, when you have this whole expectation-laden summer ahead of you, and you know you need to stop and enjoy, because as far as life goes, this is as good as it will ever be.

I'm really, truly not one of those moms who's constantly sad at how big her kids are getting. I'm so proud of these little stinkers that I get excited when I think about all life has in store for them. It's just that at the end of the school year it becomes jarring, their grown-up-ness.

And mine, too, quite frankly. I just turned 38. THIRTY EIGHT! Aren't I still sneaking a flashlight under my covers so I can read Sweet Valley Twins? The years go by so. Damn. Fast. 

Blink, and you miss it. Don't blink, and you still might miss it. I am only human, and a woman in her thirties (still) at that. June (of 2016!) is almost here ready or not. Lucky me to be a part of it.

1 comment:

  1. This was beautifully written. And I am still giggling about the comment about Aaron crapping his pants-- because it caught me completely off guard. Lol!