Wednesday, May 6, 2015

A Woman in her Thirties on the Potty*

*Not-so-fun fact.  In six years blogging on this site, the post that gets the most hits (and I mean in the tens of THOUSANDS, and counting) is 'A Woman in her Thirties Pees her Pants'.  That is because the internet is full of weird, gross people, who are undoubtedly not looking for stories of women peeing their pants during pregnancy in the Target parking lot.  We will see what this post title generates....)

Bring up potty training to any parent, and you're bound to get a visceral reaction.  For some reason, potty training is the one subject any parent can agree on when it comes to parenting:  IT SUCKS.  It really does.  I wrote about it here, when I trained Anna, and since then there hasn't been any big changes in that regard.  Sucks.

With Anna, I was fairly laissez-faire about the whole thing.  It will happen when it happens.  And then it happened, and I was happy.  This was a good attitude to have.  It is the attitude I have tried to have with Aaron, but the ever-selfish woman in her thirties that I am has had one 'devil' on my shoulder, so to speak, and it's made me a little anxious:


When Aaron is potty trained, my life changes. Possibilities open up to me that I wouldn't have otherwise.  Camps.  Classes.  Drop-off play times, for BOTH kids.  Not to mention the whole not-buying-diapers thing.  He needs to be potty trained for the fall, the weather has been gorgeous lately, so shoot, I thought.  Let's just get this show on the road.


In fairness, Aaron has been going potty for months now.  Every time he would get out of the bath, I would lift him up and let him pee into the toilet.  MONTHS.  Then, when I started researching how to actually potty train a boy, I realized this was a colossal mistake.  Boys are supposed to sit and point... you know.... downward.  When I tried to do this with Aaron, he looked at me like I was crazy.  

So things are going great, as long as you don't count that I've done this all wrong.

(Us, on our first walk around the block sans diaper.  He nailed it!  We're working on our fifth day of little to no pee accidents.  Hooray!)

Unfortunately, this is not the case with good ol' number two.   Aaron has always been very... consistent in this department, so I felt like as long as I caught him before he ran to hide behind the curtains (his favorite spot to go), then we'd be in business.

Not so much.  

But this is where the zen-like potty experience with Anna comes into play.  A woman in her thirties either looks at the glass (or potty) as half empty, or half full.  In this case, as in many cases in my life currently, I'm choosing half full (of pee).  Half full (of pee) is good, and while half full (of poop) would also be nice, half full (of pee) is still pretty great.  When he is ready, there will be poop.  Lots of poop!  


And when there is, it will be sweet.  And gross.  But sweet, too.  

5 comments:

  1. HILARIOUS. I hope this post also gets tens of thousands of hits. Also, I cannot explain to you how much I am dreading potty training. And, if one more older lady tells me how easy it was to potty train their 18 month old, I'm going to punch them in the throat. They are lying or they don't remember (that's what I'm telling myself).

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    1. Kim, I almost added that! Remind me to tell you a hilarious story.

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  2. Would it be totally lame to admit that my ears perked up at the thought of using a few strategically-placed words to get tens of thousands of hits on my blog?

    P.S. Go Aaron! Urine it to win it!

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    1. Optimista... this is quite possibly the funniest comment I've ever read!

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  3. You can do it! Well, you and Aaron together. Obviously I am way behind in commenting. I hope it's going well now!

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