Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Guest Post: A Woman in her Thirties Turns 3-6

Today's guest post comes from Heidi, one of my very best of friends from the very oldest of times (Spieg's Drama I class, to be precise).  It is important to hear her voice when reading this post, as her signature inflections are key to its full appreciation.  However, if you don't know Heidi, picture your favorite character from Friends and add some more salty language.  Then smile, and read:

There is something so amazing about a Birthday.  A day to celebrate everything that is you.  You were brought into this world for a reason, and one day a year, you deserve 24 hours of enjoying every second of people showering you with kindness, just because you are you.

But sometimes..... Sometimes... people don't share in your thoughts, and sometimes......Birthdays just suck.

I never ever thought I would say those words.  

I am the Birthday Queen.  The extravaganza haver, the Party Girl, the pass the cake please, I don't care if these pants don't fit, more champagne please! I plan on drinking until the entire world spins around me.  The true believer in The Birthday and all the wonderfulness that goes into those two words. 

But this year.  This year there is no excitement.  In previous years I would have had a New Years Resolution, and killed myself on our local bike trail for 3 weeks straight until all of my clothes bagged on me and I was at an acceptable Birthday weight.  This year I gave up on Resolutions and decided that Chick Fil A being built less than a mile from my house was a sign from God that waffle fries and Butterfinger shakes were the best diet a girl could ask for.  Two hours to decide on an outfit is 119 minutes too long....in past years the Birthday Girl outfit would have been purchased in November and been hanging in a special spot for me to dream about as I put on my boring clothes, counting down to the days until the sparkly attire could be brought out in all it's glory.   The endless champagne has stopped, because a hang over with two children is not worth the two minute table top dance cheers that once were.

I must say that there are people in my life who annually make sure my day is as special as possible.  They drive for twice the amount of time then the time spent celebrating. They aggravate husbands to slip away for few hours, just to make sure they see me smile at their most thoughtful gifts.  They listen to my endless complaints about my newly dyed hair that was supposed to make me feel like a new and improved woman but instead threw me back into my awkward teenage years when no one thought I was attractive except maybe the tuba playing Sophomore whose pants were just a smidgen too tight and face was reminiscent of something cheesy with pepperoni.  

They roll their eyes and brush away my comments about how large and in charge I have become, and try to remind me that they knew me when I could have been the spokesmodel for Omar the Tent maker "Dresses for Women".  My Peeps are the best.  Nothing has changed....except maybe me.

I remember turning 26....just ten short years ago.  When I was the only Married one, and at the time, my Husband couldn't get rid of me fast enough.  (A weekend with my Playstation.  Yes! Please!)  He has always understood the importance of the Birth. Day.  Thank god for that.  There were no children, no schedule making, no pre-meal planning, no baby sitting organization, the only decision we had to make was if our weekend-palooza would be 2 days long or 3 days long...  If we should stop at 7-11 and make a road soda Slurpee.... Is Taco bell a good idea on the way up, or should we wait for Hang Over City and grab it on our way home.  I mean... life changing decisions PEOPLE!  

Good times.

But... Just when I thought I had the Birthday Blues.... This Mother of Two was woke by her precious Husband singing her the Birthday Song, followed by an adorable 3 year old whose grasp is that of a boa constrictor and a 7 year old with the voice of a (frog) Angel.  They don't care that my hair is that of Elvira, nor do they care if my thighs won't fit into my Joes.  All they know is it's Mommy's Birthday, and to them, that means Cake after dinner.  

What more could a woman in her thirties want?


  1. who's got it better than you? NOBODY!

  2. It's pretty crazy how different birthday celebrations are in our 30's, especially after kids!! They can't all be winners but just wait until your 40th (!!! I just freaked out a little typing that...)

    Love you! Happy birthday!!

  3. Happy Birthday, HK! You look fabulous to me!

  4. I love this post. L. Shanna was exactly right about how it reads. Those stinking cute kids there? Perfect reason to smile and look forward to next year. We can do something better with 37, right? :)