1. I know absolutely nothing about football.
2. I do not care to know anything about football.
3. See reasons one and two.
Keep in mind that this pressure was coming from L's cousins, who are part of the University of Michigan brother (and sister) hood. Remember this post, about maize and blue? I can't keep up with that kind of enthusiasm, people.
(Um, who is that child from not even one year ago??)
This year, for some reason (I'm going to go ahead and blame pregnancy hormones), I relented. I was promised by several members of the Yeegue that I didn't need to know the rules to football in order to play.
It's easy, they said. You don't have to do anything, they said.
Because I joined, L decided to join, too. There is something you should know about L, something that might illustrate the yin and yang of our relationship. Where I am among the most non-competitive people on the planet (really and truly, I can barely keep up with myself let alone where other people are in relation), L is one of the most competitive people I've ever known. Whether I liked it or not, I was going to live in a house where Sunday and Monday night football mattered.
Or was it Monday and Tuesday? Or Sunday afternoon? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL.
We picked our teams. Well, L picked his team. I went to a friend's barbecue during our draft time, and allowed the auto-draft gods to do what they would. L came to the barbecue after the draft hemming and hawing about how I'd gotten such a great team, and his was terrible. And I smiled, thinking maybe this whole fantasy football thing was going to loads of fun after all.
As it turns out, YOU DO HAVE TO KNOW AT LEAST A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT FOOTBALL if you want to play fantasy football. A basic understanding of what each position does is good. Rudimentary knowledge of how points are scored is also nice. Oh, and looking at the website is pretty important. So while I watched L sit at my computer and tell me, week after week, that I might want to take a look at my team every once in awhile because several of my players were injured, I thought to myself what a terrible mistake I'd made by joining. And then I cleaned puke out of my hair.
That's when L offered to help. Now I'd like to be clear for those members of the league reading this post: There were no shenanigans going on here. Not shenanigans in the true sense of the word. L was only doing what I might have done, had I given a rat's behind. The league caught on pretty quickly and called me out on it, which was the most fun I had during the whole fantasy football process. I rejected trades and smack-talked about things I really had no understanding of. L enjoyed it thoroughly.
In the end, I placed 10th out of 16:
Which, when you think about it, isn't all that bad. But more importantly, this woman in her thirties learned a little bit about football and how it's played. I learned that players get awesome nicknames like, 'The Purple Jesus' and 'Megatron'. I learned that my cousins-in-law are pretty hilarious.
And next year, they're going down.