Something crazy has happened. My baby girl has turned ten months old. I am writing this right now while watching you play on the floor of the kitchen. You just picked up your play cell phone, pressed your favorite button for the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' song, and are waving the phone in front of you, bouncing and smiling. Apparently you are a fan of cell phones and dancing, so I have allowed myself a quick daydream into the teenager you will someday be. And thus, a woman in her thirties crumbles a little inside.
I know I keep saying this, but all those months in the single digits were nothing compared to the fun you are now. You babble constantly, wave at everyone (particularly at Dan), and are eating all the foods that Mom and Dad eat. Yogurt is your favorite, followed by crusty bread:And pasta with Arrabiata sauce. Look, Bubs, we are a spicy family. It's not too soon to take a little heat.
You are a seriously good baby. I don't think I realized it until we flew home from California last week and the guy sitting across the aisle from me was actually angry that you were so good. 'My kids would never have behaved like this on an airplane,' he grumbled while you bounced on my lap and smiled at him. 'Never.' What can I say? Double digits look good on my Pumpkin.
And speaking of Pumpkins, it's starting to look a lot like Fall here in Pleasantville. I have to be honest-- not being in a classroom this September has been bittersweet. I love the first day of school, even the first weeks. I loved telling my kids that it was a clean slate for all of us; that this year was going to be exactly what we made if it from here on out. It's been enough to give a woman in her thirties a (minor) mental breakdown in the school supply aisle at Target, but let's just keep that afternoon between you and me.
I guess there is something inside all of us that likes the idea of letting go of what's past and focusing solely on the future. At least that's what I did in teaching. But that was before you. This September, I don't want a clean slate. The past nine months haven't always brought out the best in me, but I find myself holding on to them with all my might. They have been stress-filled, sleep-deprived magic.So if you must grow up, and it seems like you must, know that no matter how many cell phones you hold or how many dances you will eventually go to, there will always be a part of me that is here, right now, with you. You make my past, my present, and my future worth living.