Saturday, November 27, 2010

A Woman in her Thirties Restores (some) Sanity

This post is dedicated to Optimista C-- graveyard shift operator, laundry folder, resident photographer, and breakdown-watcher extraordinaire-- without whom L and I would not have gotten through the last week. Wo men ai ni!

Last Wednesday night, when contractions started in earnest, I got an email from the library saying the book I had on hold was in and waiting for me. I was a little distracted at the time, but kept the email in my inbox during the last week of newborn-baby craziness. Why? Did I honestly think I'd make time to read the next book club pick in between feeding every two hours, wiping spit up from the changing table, and leaking breast milk all over the place?

I think it was a subconscious thing, a reminder to myself that I do still have a life now that I...don't have a life anymore.

I cannot begin to list all the people that have come to help us over the last week. From L's parents cooking us pretty much every meal, to L's sister, to the neighbors, to friends blowing up my cell phone with messages of, 'Please, please let us come help', you would think that a woman in her thirties would become hopelessly spoiled as a result of all this generosity. But what happened to me was a tug-tug in my gut. The stubborn Taurus in me has accepted all this help over the last week while thinking, 'Okay, great. But what happens when I have to do this on my own?'

Which brings me to the restoration of sanity. Today I decided, despite being horrifyingly sleep deprived, despite not being able to put on a shirt or sit down without wincing, that Anna and I were going to go out on our first adventure together. I was going to do this. By myself. For no one's sake but my own.

And where else would we go? The library. (Come on, she might not look like me, but she's still mine...)

Here's Anna at the start of our trip:

The library is about three minutes down the road. I spent about two minutes inside the library finding my book and checking it out, and then headed back. It's the kind of trip I've done a million times. But this time, I did it with my daughter.

Here is Anna at the end of our trip:

I realize that for the average woman in her thirties, picking up a book at the library is not exactly an earth-shattering event. But to me, it was. I. Did. It. I can DO this. One book, one adventure at a time.


  1. Aw, great job, L. Shanna!! I am very proud of you and Anna!! She looks very happy with your library book too!!

  2. I loved that posting:
    a new life,
    your changed life,
    regaining part of your past life.
    The pictures are adorable.
    Uncle H.

  3. This made me smile the hugest smile! Of COURSE you can do this. You are going to, ARE an amazing mom. Period. End of story.

    Love you guys so much. These photos and the few days I got to spend with you guys are making me so sad that I don't live closer.

  4. Yay first outing!! Anna's outfit is killing me... so friggin cute. AND, it sounds like your trip was a success! My first trip out of the house with Ella by myself was to Old Navy when she was 2 weeks old... I couldn't figure out how to snap her carseat into the stroller and cried in the parking lot. So you are already doing a lot better than we did. :) Love you.

  5. P.S. I bought a big bottle of Cranberry-Pomegranate juice today to mix with my sparkling water! It's my new favorite thing. Thanks for the hot tip, Sistah!

  6. O.M.G.

    She is the most adorable thing on the planet.

    And for your next adventure.....

    You should try shoe shopping...

    Anna seems to be quite the trooper! Did I mention how adorable she is???

    Miss you. Proud of you.

    You're doing awesome!

  7. This is indeed a feat. I am impressed by your ability to do this so soon! It took me a month to make it out of the house alone with my son.
    We went to Target. I forgot the diaper bag at home and left my wallet at the cashier's station. I think you are off to a better start!

  8. I love, love, love this post. I think our first trip out says a lot about us as a person. You and Anna...the library. Me and Teddy...Nordies.

    Can't wait to see that little bookworm in person!

  9. Congrats! Your daughter is beautiful!

  10. Mrs. Kirbyface is a little crazy...I wouldn't try sho shopping yet!! However...I am very proud of CAN do this!! Anna is adorable! I wonder what it's like to have a small baby.