I have two stories about bowling, both of which involve a huge upset on the part of the players taking it seriously, and result in me winning. These stories both took place about ten years ago, but since then bowling has always held a special place in my heart as a sport that I have actually had some success in. I have also taken it upon myself to exaggerate these stories as often as possible, pretending on more than one occasion to be the Tiger Woods of the bowling alley.
Today was one of those days. L's parents invited us to go bowling with them tonight, and I might have used the words 'natural talent' on the car ride over. It was supposed to be funny.
When we got to the bowling alley, L's Dad ran into a friend. Who he has bowled with. For many years. And when it came time for L and I to get our rented shoes, L's Mom went to her locker. Where she has her own shoes. I started to get that sinking feeling a woman in her thirties gets when she knows she's been had.
'Oh, I didn't tell you?' L asked. 'My parents play on a league. They're going to mop the floor with us.'
Here are two photos of said floor mopping:
I learned two valuable lessons today. One: A woman in her thirties should be careful before talking a big game. She never knows the hidden talents of the people around her. And two: Bowling is hard. Especially when you're not winning. However, as in so many situations in life, it's all about how you spin it.
'I am awesome at the gutterball,' I told L's Dad on the way out. 'I mean, I've got it down.'
Finally, an exaggeration not far off the mark.