Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Woman in her Thirties is Afraid

Today on NPR I was listening to a list of fears created by a developmentally disabled man in New York. He published a list of almost 200 fears in a small magazine, some as simple as 'I'm afraid of getting lost in a large hospital', and some as profound as 'I'm afraid I didn't do all I could to give my mother a happy life.'

It got me thinking about my fears. Here are a few:

1. I fear incredibly large and incredibly small things, and this stems from an unfortunate display of horses at the California State Fair circa 2000. Giant horses scare me, as do miniature ponies. And people. (Sorry).

2. I fear airplanes, which is strange because I've done lots and lots of flying. It's scary every time. And gross. Do they EVER wipe down the arm rests? I'm just asking.

3. I fear people who truly, honestly, think that this is it; that there is nothing more. It scares me to think just how many people like that are out there, and it scares me more to think deep down I might be one of them.

4. I am afraid of the dark. It's true. Ask L.

5. I fear getting gray hair. So far I've been spared. I don't fear the getting older part, but I do fear having to start to dye my hair again. Hated that.

6. I fear things aren't as they seem to be, and they never were.

7. I fear the homeless guy who stands on the corner of U and W all day and never says a word.

8. I fear being a bad Mom, and that's not just because S planted the seed some years back.

9. I fear Ann Coulter. I honestly think I would pee my pants in her presence. She is a lunatic and will stop at nothing until she and her cat Azreal have taken over Smurf Village.

10. I fear that the developmentally disabled man who published his list of fears has accomplished a dream that I never will. I fear that my own self-consciousness will prevent me from taking risks in life.

A woman in her thirties conquers her fears from the bottom up.


  1. First, love the new layout. Second, I am dying laughing at #8. You will definitely NOT be a bad mom, but that is still one of my favorite stories.

  2. We were drinking Mountain Dew when #8 comment was made and you had every right to tell us that we could not stop to get another Mountain Dew each. My present self thanks you. Mountain Dew is disguisting and we were being obnoxious. It still makes me laugh a lot though.

  3. Comment to #3: I envy people who stopped when it was simple. Maybe it's their kids that become interesting. I hear that is more rewarding anyway.

  4. I love the new layout, too!

    I advocate the fear of Ann Coulter. She is scary. Period. Maybe you should move that one to #1 if you are starting from the bottom.

    And you are going to be an AMAZING mom.