Today on NPR I was listening to a list of fears created by a developmentally disabled man in New York. He published a list of almost 200 fears in a small magazine, some as simple as 'I'm afraid of getting lost in a large hospital', and some as profound as 'I'm afraid I didn't do all I could to give my mother a happy life.'
It got me thinking about my fears. Here are a few:
1. I fear incredibly large and incredibly small things, and this stems from an unfortunate display of horses at the California State Fair circa 2000. Giant horses scare me, as do miniature ponies. And people. (Sorry).
2. I fear airplanes, which is strange because I've done lots and lots of flying. It's scary every time. And gross. Do they EVER wipe down the arm rests? I'm just asking.
3. I fear people who truly, honestly, think that this is it; that there is nothing more. It scares me to think just how many people like that are out there, and it scares me more to think deep down I might be one of them.
4. I am afraid of the dark. It's true. Ask L.
5. I fear getting gray hair. So far I've been spared. I don't fear the getting older part, but I do fear having to start to dye my hair again. Hated that.
6. I fear things aren't as they seem to be, and they never were.
7. I fear the homeless guy who stands on the corner of U and W all day and never says a word.
8. I fear being a bad Mom, and that's not just because S planted the seed some years back.
9. I fear Ann Coulter. I honestly think I would pee my pants in her presence. She is a lunatic and will stop at nothing until she and her cat Azreal have taken over Smurf Village.
10. I fear that the developmentally disabled man who published his list of fears has accomplished a dream that I never will. I fear that my own self-consciousness will prevent me from taking risks in life.
A woman in her thirties conquers her fears from the bottom up.